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Nuwbunun El-Mustasafeer Nuwbunun El-Mustasafeer is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2
Nuwbunun El-Mustasafeer is on a distinguished road
Default My Story, smashed together really tight.

Rahubaat everyone. I began to study Nuwaubu in 2002, studying at first with a small group of friends on a almost regular basis. After that I met a former Shi'ite Imam who shook free from the spell of religion and lived an active, healthy life while trying to practice the most simple of Nuwaupic principals

I myself was Sunni. "Salafee", to let me tell it. Then 9/11 occurred, which to be honest I don't even want to talk about. Ever, ever again. I had some difficulties with gov for a little bit after that. It was NOT fun. Fortunately I was already in prison so getting put in more prison was not as bad as what my, our Master Teacher is enduring. And by now, not nearly as long. I get so excited when I hear people speak with hope that he will survive and come home.

This first time I was clearly presented with Nuwaubu was by an Ansaar we'll call Idriys. He came to me while I was reading in the dayroom, as I usually did. He initiated our first discussion, later confessing he had intended to "spin me". Another guy I knew of got invovled and symbols started getting drawn and there was talk of aliens and we're-gods-and-the-bible-is-a-lie. Then I think I got interrogated, I forget.

Later, I was talking to some of my so-called brothers ('til the law came down), telling them about this "crazy kafr" and some alien-guy that writes books. They assured me I was doing the right thing to be closed minded and ignorant, and so that's what I did. A few days later, the second man that had joined the session approached me and told me that he heard me telling the akhies-in-the-yard how crazy these alien guys were. He didn't express anger. He didn't want to discuss it. He looked me in the eye and said "It doesn't matter what you believe, if you're chosen you're chosen." And he walked away.

I was worried. Something in his voice was different, the tone. This wasn't a threat, it wasn't a rant, it wasn't spiteful, it wasn't loving or caring. It was the most blunt, matter of fact statement anyone had or has ever said to me, and for some reason, I didn't doubt what he said. I still don't know what he is talking about, why I am typing this or if this effort will even work out for me. But, when he said it, I knew for what and by Whom I was Chosen. I can't explain this feeling. It was strange to me.

Some time later while I was sitting in solitary confinement, everything started lining up. I'd been taken from population and deemed a threat for religious reasons. I don't think I was, but I guess the warden is supposed to be the authority on things. And the drunken red-faced security captain... This prison was designed so if I stood on my sink, I could talk at a relatively low tone through the vents to 3 neighbors. One was a man called Africa, who has now passed. There was a 5%er who I spent alot of time talking with after Africa left, but also had been involved in some of our discussions before Africa left. Then there was an Ansaar who said it well to me "stop hoping for the pie in the sky and handle my business before They crush me". A group of other men and myself had excited the AG by trying to get the Imam fired in a paper-work protest action.

Africa had been Idriys's friend and student. He recommended I go ask to learn the Arabic from him when/if I got out of the hole. I got out, looked for him, couldn't find him, and was stuck in a cell with a real pedophile. I packed up and asked to go back to the hole. They obliged.

The RHU was divided into 4 parts, leaving me a 25% chance of landing on the same pod as Idriys. Bullseye! I groveled a little bit, and did the name-drop thing as I was instructed to do. Asked about the Arabic. We began. After that we met in the yard daily, which leads me to the real reason I am posting, though if you ask me, that's a pretty awesome intro to Nuwaubu, if one must have trial by fire. It left an indelible mark on me far from all-bad.

Though I don't remember when, at some point I had written to the address in the inside of a scroll, telling of my situation and pleading for some guidance. I received a few incredible scrolls, an act of kindness and support I have never forgotten. These were pivotal in my turning totally inside out. I went through physical changes; became lactose intolerant and developed difficulty eating meat as I learned about diet. I explored so many different things, learning from different groups about their own beliefs, only to then return to Idriys and a few others in the yard to talk about Life. Sometimes we would use scrolls, but generally those were kept inside for safety and preservation of the texts. I was eventually permitted to borrow a few, but first I was asked to write a book report for who I was told was our Elder, though I only ever spoke with him once. Nice man. The book was Debates with the Nation of Islam. I was then given some more scrolls to read, so I guess I passed their testing of my intentions or something. There were more tests, I don't know how things went, because I was first to be released, and there were many problems that pulled me away from pen and letters.

One day, I was taught a meditation. "Akh, Ba, Ruh", over and over. I remained in my cell that night when my cellmate went out to the day room, and turned off the lights. I had showered, performed Wudu the way I knew how, and upon returning to the cell, went right to it.

I knelt upon a mat, and sat as if sitting in rest between prostrations in salat. I breathed, and both slowly chanted and thought in my head the 3 syllables. I felt tears and a smile, wanted to laugh and release and felt as if I was turning inside out, but stopped. The place didn't seem appropriate. I told Idriys and he simply suggested I should have kept going.

There are many more synchronistic events and occurrences that keep me with my eyes to the east, my heart pointed upwards, and my search constantly taking me back to this point. I have a few scrolls that I turn to, and found the Holy Tablets online which is nice since people are selling them for like, $1000 on ebay now. I sought El's Quraan today, found it for about $100.

The logical thing seems to be to introduce myself. The above is true though heavily redacted. My name in this forum is comprised of names given by Idriys and the Elder, at different times. I always believed they would allow me to be found again. But, I remember that the helping hand I seek is at the end of my own wrist, and that all I can do, and need to do, is A.S.K...

I have read some really great posts here over the past few months, though admittedly not as many as I probably should. I don't say anything because much of what I read is over my head, especially when dealing with history or math. Everything has run together in my head, and Nothing matters now. However, I think I may have took a left because though Nothing matters, lately nothing in this world makes sense anymore either. I felt I should speak up, that now was the time. So, nice to make everyone's acquiantence.

Thanks for having me as part of this group. Anyone know more about the Akh Ba Ruh experience I had? I can't find a thing, and have noone to build with anymore.
(I have been free since 12/04, to give perspective. I've been winging it for a lo-o-o-oooong time it feels like.)
"And on the day of my incarnation, a Pope was laid LOW by the hands of time, come 7:20pm, eastern standard time..." True Story

Last edited by Nuwbunun El-Mustasafeer; at 08:24 AM.. Reason: clarity, spelling
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